Learning that I love you
by TheKatieMonster
Summary: Just a story of love between two oblivious friends.


She sat at the window, gazing out at the street lights below, not really looking. Blond hair framed her face and thick black frames sat neatly on her nose as bright baby blue eyes looked on, lost in thought. She was perched on the windowsill with a pen in her left hand tapping a pad of paper below, which lay forgotten on her lap. She could never think straight. Not when alone. Not when _she_ was with someone else.

Why did she always run scared. Scared little Alex, with her high class views and her personality full of pride to the brim. _The Ice Queen_. Now she was too late. Too late to tell Olivia what she meant to her. Too late to tell her just how much she needed her. How much she loved her. She had missed her chance and now Olivia was happy, happy in the arms of someone else... and she couldn't help but feel broken. Her heart was in pieces, but her head was too proud to even shed a tear. She didn't deserve to cry. Didn't deserve to feel hurt, because it was her own fault. A fault she would have to live with.

* * *

Olivia slammed the door behind her as she made her way into her apartment. She was tired and she was angry. Alex has been ignoring her all week and she had no idea why. Alex was supposed to be her friend... her _best_ friend. She was supposed to always be there for Olivia, a shoulder to cry on, someone she could trust with her deepest thoughts and feelings. So what had she done wrong?

Olivia thought back to what had happened earlier that day.

"Alex... Alex, wait up!" the brunette had called as the ADA was walking out of the courtroom.

"Yes?" Alex answered coldly, not feeling up to speaking with her just now.

"I just wanted to say well done, you were great in there. As always!", "Thank you, but I have a lot of work to do." Alex replied, unable to make eye contact. She didn't have any work, she had finished updating all her notes earlier in the week, hoping her and Olivia could catch up, but she changed her mind when Olivia had told her about her date.

"Well, okay... how about we have a drink tonight? Just me and you, huh?" Olivia asked with hope. She missed Alex and couldn't understand why she was acting so strangely.

"I can't. I have to go." Alex said, walking away quick enough that Olivia couldn't protest.

Olivia was tired. Her emotions were haywire and Alex's moods weren't helping the situation. She wished she could just stop these feelings she had for the blonde. Feelings that she knew would never be returned. She felt foolish, falling for someone so out of her league. Especially someone she could never have, someone who was too good for her. Someone who could break her, but it was difficult not to love someone who was so perfect in your eyes. It was almost as if the girl was made for her. She fit so perfectly into her life, the only person who ever truly accepted her for all her faults, who understood how she worked.

She was too tired to think any more. She had been out with Daniel tonight, a sweet man from the DA's office. He was nice, kind and intelligent... but he wasn't Alex. No one compared to Alex.

She had sat through dinner in almost complete silence while Daniel had spoke endlessly about cases he had won over the years. She wasn't interested, Alex had won more and shared compassion for the victims. She doubted he cared half as much. So she decided to call it a night, leaving her thoughts until morning, but not before a few tears of sorrow escaped from her eyes.

* * *

Olivia woke up at 6am sharp and couldn't get back to sleep, her body clock never let her lie in. Her thoughts had wandered straight to Alex as soon as her awareness kicked in and threw any chance of sleep out the window.

She decided to get a head start on her paperwork back at the precinct and managed to get to the office at 7.00am after habitually getting dressed and leaving the house. Olivia always kept up to date with her paperwork and by 9.00am, when the rest of the squad began to wander in, she had completed all her DD5's from all the recently closed cases.

She was just finishing filing all of the paperwork when she began to hear the familiar clicking of heals make their way through the precinct.

* * *

Alex had tossed and turned all night, and at 5am she decided to forget about getting any sleep altogether. She decided to work out instead. She threw on some work out clothes, grabbed her iPod and keys and made her way outside. The sun was currently rising, and she hit play as she began to run an all familiar route. She could feel the cold morning air hit her lungs as she forced her body to move faster. Alex never knew when to give her body a break and would always force herself past breaking point. By the time she has made her way back to her flat, her legs when shaking from the strain. She climbed the stairs to her floor and made her way to the shower to wash away the sweat and stress before beginning another day.

Once the blonde had stepped into the shower, thoughts of Olivia began to seep their way in to her head. She though of what it would be like if Olivia was here, with her, and a warm feeling began to travel through her body, settling between her thighs. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't force these thoughts to leave. So she switched the water to cold and hoped it would cool her off.

Alex had been in the office since 7.30am and an after reviewing the recent case she was working on decided to head down to the precinct to catch up on any leads involving the case.

**I wrote this almost two years ago and never thought I would post it. However, it's a story that I would like to tell. So, let me know if you think it's worth continuing. **


End file.
